March 31, 2004

Michigan jokes

This email goes around a lot, but I realized that a good majority of my blog-readers are Canadian and may not have seen it (gotten from here)

You know you're from Michigan when...

1.You've never met any celebrities.

2."Vacation" means going to Cedar Point.

3.At least 1 member of your family disowns you the week of the Michigan/Michigan State game.

4.Half the change in your pocket is!

5.You drive 86 mph on the highway and pass on the right.

6.Your idea of a traffic jam is 40 cars waiting to pass an orange barrel.

7.You know how to play (and pronounce) Euchre.

8.It's easy to get VERNORS Ginger Ale, Sanders Hot Fudge sauce, AND Faygo Pop.

9.You know how to pronounce "Mackinac."

10.You've had to switch on the "heat" and the "A/C" in the same day.

11.You bake with SODA and drink a POP.

12.The movie "Escanaba in Da Moonlight" wasn't funny. You consider it a documentary.

13.Your little league game was snowed out.

14.The word "thumb" has geographical, rather than anatomical significance.

15.You show people where you grew up by pointing to a spot on your left hand.

16. Traveling coast-to-coast means driving from Port Huron to Muskegon.

17.You measure distance in minutes.

18.When giving directions, you refer to A Michigan Left.

19.You know that Kalamazoo not only exists, but isn't that far from Hell.

20.Your year has 2 seasons: Winter and Construction.

21.Home Depot on any Saturday is busier than toy stores at Christmas.

22.You know when it has rained because of the smell of worms.

23.Owning a Japanese car was a hangin' offense in your hometown.

24.You believe that "down south" means Toledo.

25. You are still bitter about the Toledo War.

Um, I changed #25 from a generic "You get these jokes" to something funnier and truer. Also, 3, 12, 23 and 24 are somewhat of an exaggeration. Well, maybe not 24 -- I do think of Chicago as down south, after all. Plus I think of Ontario as east and a bit south. Also, I don't refer to Michigan Lefts as such -- in fact, I didn't know they were so rare outside of Michigan -- but I do know what they are, and you will too if you follow the link I gave you. Oh, and I don't know what Sanders Hot Fudge sauce has to do with Michigan. Maybe we should replace that with "Your favo(u)rite ice cream is Mackinac Island Fudge".

Posted by Tim at March 31, 2004 10:09 PM | TrackBack

Thumb Hyde and Fur, baby - my childhood softball team.

Very cool.

You missed the "Port Urine" pronunciation. That was always my favorite.


Posted by: hln at April 1, 2004 08:52 AM

Heehee. The mitten. But you know, a fair number of these could refer to Southern Ontario, too... (Euchre? No one in Quebec OR Manitoba plays euchre!) Maybe you need to invent another list.

Posted by: Naomi at April 1, 2004 10:00 AM

I thought these were great...Sanders Hot Fudge is the BEST hot fudge you can ever have for icecream; i never knew that it was a michigan thing though.
I think that 3, 12, 23, and 24 might be more northern michigan things (maybe you don't disown your family, but the school is definitely split on those days)....the one about escanaba in da moonlight is definitely true...for da yoopers anyways :)

anyways, i enjoyed this post.

Posted by: Kimber at April 1, 2004 11:13 AM

I've always loved Michigan, as I have tons of family connections there. My grandfather was born in the upper peninsula, which doesn't seem to figure in any of these jokes. My mother was born in Jackson and grew up in Milan, south of Ann Arbor. My grandmother grew up near Adrian after age 10. My brother-in-law teaches at Hillsdale College. I have a first cousin and family who live near Dundee. And probably scores of second and third cousins I don't even know.

Posted by: David T. Koyzis at April 1, 2004 12:31 PM

I like the favorite ice cream being mackinac island fudge. I asked my roommate to buy me some the other day... she loooked at me like I had two heads or something! She ended up buying some fudge/vanila swirl thing that was nowhere close, but still good. (Perhaps I should explain...I moved from Michigan to Colorado)

Posted by: mary at April 1, 2004 04:32 PM

interestingly, #20 has been used as a joke about Canadians too. Eh?

Posted by: Graham at April 2, 2004 03:07 PM

The Michigan Left is a crime against humanity.

Posted by: Gideon Strauss at April 2, 2004 05:16 PM

Oh, I miss the Michigan Left a lot when I'm here. Meadowlands in particular would benefit immensely from this. I can't tell you how many times I've driven past a light intending to turn around at the next turning thing and ended up having to go way down Stone Church Road and find a place to turn around so I could get to Blockbuster or something. I guess it would take a little getting used to but it's so much more efficient and fun. Plus, then you get nice wide medians and you can plant pretty trees and even shrubbery on it, not like these ugly cement dividers on Golf Links Road.

Oh and Golf Links through Meadowlands would also benefit from stoplights that are actually timed. But that's another rant.

Posted by: Tim the Michigander at April 3, 2004 02:03 AM

Graham -- Ontario's road maintenance is MUCH better than Michigan's. MDOT (Michigan Dept. of Transportation) is probably the most hated government organization in the state. Though recently several projects in the GR area have been completed ahead of time and under budget, which is rather exciting.

Posted by: Tim the Michigander at April 3, 2004 02:06 AM

I haven't been to Michigan yet so I wouldn't know about the road conditions, but Ontario does a decent job at times, but basically, from nov.-apr., construction is slowed, and virtually halted, and may-oct. it seems almost every major highway has some sort of construction happening.

Posted by: Graham at April 3, 2004 01:17 PM

The Michigan Left beats those roundabouts that they have back east. My husband and I drove to Plymouth, Ma last summer and those circular things are scary!

The orange barrels are out! Winter is over! Three cheers!

Posted by: naleta at April 4, 2004 10:47 PM

Good post. I stole it wholesale under the same title, with credit to you at your site. Being left-handed, I always just assumed that pointing to my right palm (with the thumb in the proper place) was the best way to give directions. We live on the wristline, 45 minutes out of Toledo.

Best of luck in your studies---and with your site.

Posted by: weaselteeth at April 4, 2004 11:07 PM

The Michigan Left is genius. I was gonna rant about something like that in my post on speeding a while back and my critique of poorly designed roads in Ontario. Florida also has a similar system, at least they do in Port Charlotte along US 41. Works like a charm. Then you can have traffic shootin' through the main drag at 50mph no problem. Here we gotta do 35 just to keep people from running too hard into the back of each other.

Posted by: Jake at April 5, 2004 03:01 PM

Definately could apply some points to us Canadians in SW Ontario. I agree with Naomi

Posted by: Nicole at April 5, 2004 03:12 PM

It amazes me that you don't know what Sanders Hot fudge has to do with Michigan. Sanders was (is) a candy store in Detroit that started in 1867. They made the best hot fudge I have ever had.

Posted by: Carol at April 8, 2004 11:23 PM

I thought your choices were great,especially since my husband and I are now "trolls" living in the U.P. But there's one I might add for all the upper's: You know you are from Michigan when November 15 is considered a Holiday...the schools are closed and you can't find a handy man anywhere!

Posted by: Cindy Levenburg at April 17, 2004 07:31 PM

these were pretty true! I also heard that Michigan is the only place where people give directions by saying turn north or south, rather than left or right. Measuring distence in minutes is so true as well

Posted by: edna at June 8, 2004 07:18 PM

these were pretty true! I also heard that Michigan is the only place where people give directions by saying turn north or south, rather than left or right. Measuring distence in minutes is so true as well

Posted by: edna at June 8, 2004 07:18 PM

Hey, i heard this today ;-)

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.

The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?"

The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."

There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

Posted by: Jokes Page! at September 29, 2004 05:44 AM
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