February 11, 2004

this made me laugh

Uh, I'm not the biggest fan of forwards, but this one sure rang true for me:

You might be a Dutch Calvinist if...

1. You finish the food on your plate in a restaurant even though it is burnt or otherwise unfit for human consumption;

2. You reused plastic margarine containers long before anyone had heard of the environmental movement;

3. You have a two volume address book: Volume I: A-U Volume II:V-Z

4. You have never skipped church to watch the Super Bowl; your main contribution to gender equality was the switch from King to Wilhelmina Brand peppermints;

5. Your range of restaurants is restricted by the contents of a "Buy one meal, get one free" coupon book that you purchased to support missionaries
in Sierra Leone;

6. You wipe the last of the butter out of the container with your bun;

7. Your mother's hairdo is the same at your wedding as it was at hers;

8. Your closet is divided into work clothes and Sunday clothes;

9. Your church attendance record is not disrupted by childbirth;

10. Your Sunday routine resembles: church, coffee, roast beef, Jell-O salad, snooze, and church (or church, coffee with cake and cookies, soup & buns, snooze, and church);

11. You have a living room but never sit in it;

12. All your cookies taste like almonds;

13. You make the bed in your hotel room;

14. The last tip you left at a restaurant was: "Don't wear so much makeup" and "A little quicker with the coffee next time";

15. You have always been to church on New Year's Eve;

16. You can sing "Ere Zij God" even though you can't speak Dutch;

17. You think that being progressive means discarding the church hymnbook in favor of Keith Green songs on the overhead;

18. Seeing raised hands during worship causes you to look around for a stickup man;

19. You are still trying to justify owning a dishwasher;

20. At your wedding everyone is swaying but no one is dancing;

21. You have attended worship services at a campground amphitheater;

22. You know what an afghan is;

23. You have lace on your windows but not on your underwear;

24. Your two permanent Saturday jobs are to wash the car and make sure you have enough single bills for the offerings;

25. All of your recipes are adapted to fit a 9 x 13 pan;

26. You can't imagine a funeral reception without ham buns;

27. The usher never needs to ask you where you want to sit;

28. You consider ketchup a spice.

Posted by Tim at February 11, 2004 06:45 PM

This obviously is about Dutch-American Calvinists. We haven't had single bills in this country for quite a number of years!

Posted by: David T. Koyzis at February 11, 2004 11:20 PM

True. I hadn't noticed that, but then I am an American, the below entry to the contrary.

Posted by: Tim the Michigander at February 11, 2004 11:23 PM
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