November 19, 2003

To the annoying person whom I foolishly gave my email address a while back:

Dear Induhvidual who keeps forwarding me stuff,

I am far too kind to reply to your continued, unsolicited emails by ranting to you, but honestly I need to vent somewhere, and this blog is the best place to do that.

Frankly, I do not care about inspirational (read: made-up) stories about little girls in cancer wards who still manage to smile. I'm pretty sure that the email you sent me yesterday entitled "Fwd: Fw: Awesome Story I Love It!!! !!" is in violation of international Overusage of Exclamatory Marks standards and deserves to be rotting in some Belgian jail. If I get one more email telling me that if I don't pass it on to twenty or more friends then I don't love Jesus, I may just destroy my computer screen (and, as anyone who reads this blog knows, that would be equivalent to a crack addict shooting his own dealer since I'm horribly addicted to this thing).

Also, it would be lovely if you would check or some such site before forwarding the important mesage that Madalyn Murray O'Hair has gotten the FCC to ban religious broadcasting. Guess what? Ms. O'Hair is dead. She's been dead. Also, HIV-infected needles are not being placed on gas pump handles by bitter AIDS victims. (The virus doesn't survive very long outside the human body anyway).

Honestly, I would rather get a spam message than a FWD. At least spammers are trying to make money, even if they're an incredible annoyance. Forwarders are just an annoyance, and they think they've done you a favour in the process.

Unless an email you get has you literally rolling on the floor (and I want proof of that, preferably in the form of pet hair all over your clothes), you will read it (if you want) then save it or delete it. You will not forward it to me.

Get it? Got it? Good.

Posted by Tim at November 19, 2003 01:32 AM | TrackBack

oh man Tim, you don't know how many times I've ranted over useless forwards. I will blog one day about them as well. Something should be done to stop these ppl...

Posted by: Nahej at November 19, 2003 01:58 AM

how ironic, right after i posted that earlier comment, i check my e-mail to find that it is account size critical tks guessed it...a useless forward...

Posted by: Nahej at November 19, 2003 01:59 AM

I have the same problem with one old and very devout friend, but don't worry about it. I figure that if it makes the sender happy to pass it on to me, then I can just delete the unread message quietly and he still feels good about his good deed. Easy way for me to be kind to someone, ya know?

Posted by: Ted at November 19, 2003 07:24 AM

stop sending forwards

Posted by: cathy reinhart at December 13, 2003 01:22 PM
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